How to Say No to Being a Bridesmaid

There’s excitement all around when one of your closest friends gets engaged! The wedding planning begins, and when it comes to choosing her bridesmaids, you’re now the one being popped the question. Although you’re honored to be a part of her big day, you’re not sure you want to say yes for several different reasons. Whether it be finances, time, or other personal reasons, here are a few ways to graciously decline:

Offer a different way of support: You may not be able to devote as much time as a bridesmaid would, but you could offer to attend a meeting with the florist or bakery to help with decision-making. Another way of being valuable to the wedding is offering to be a guestbook attendant or greeter. Sometimes brides forget about this aspect and even the bridesmaids will appreciate not having to run around and direct guests so they fully attend to the bride.

Decline Early On: There is no reason to lead her on or keep her hanging. If you know you can’t be a bridesmaid, the only courteous thing for you to do is to let the bride know your decision as soon as possible. That way, she’ll have enough time to ask someone else if she chooses.

Be Sincere: All wedding stuff aside, your relationship is important and honesty is the best policy. Express your gratitude at being asked, but be sincere with her about your decision. You don’t want to be the resentful bridesmaid that brings the mood down. Remember why she asked you to be a part of such an important day in her life. As a true friend, she will understand your decision and appreciate your honesty.

Article by Linda Whitten of Wedfully Yours


Once Wed was launched in March 2008 to meet a need in the marketplace for an online listing service for second-hand wedding dresses. Within a short time, the company had developed into an online wedding publication and resource to provide newly-engaged brides with inspiration and tools to plan their dream wedding. 

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