Wedding Etiquette for Blended Families

When I agreed to write this article, I had no idea it would take me back 17 years to when my husband and I planned our own wedding. Anxiety and lost sleep over which parent would help with different wedding expenses, who would walk me down the aisle, who would sit where and how do we word the wedding invitation.. Obviously we made it over each hurdle, but thinking back just makes me cringe!

As a “child of divorce,” I am well aware of the delicate balance others with divorced parents have learned. Sure, our parents divorced one another, but is it really that simple? There are the rare divorced, or blended families, where everyone gets along, and in fourteen years of wedding planning, I can assure you that they do exist. I’ve seen them, but they are definitely not the norm. The bottom line is that even as you plan your wedding day, you will need to be prepared to perform a balancing act.

You are about to take a very adult step in your life, so don’t be afraid to have a very adult conversation with your parents about the wedding. Tackle issues early in the engagement. This is not to say it will be an easy conversation, after all they are still your parents, but it is important to head off problems in advance. It may be too much to expect to meet with them together, so be prepared to do it twice and cover all the wedding details.

In the best case scenarios, divorced parents will be able to put their differences aside for the sake of their child’s happiness. Hopefully your best interest is what they have at heart, but their ideas of what that is may be very different. They could even be quite different from yours! If necessary, take a stand for what you want.

With a divorce rate of 50% in America, it is often an inevitability for many couples, whether it’s your parents, your partner’s parents, or a close family members, you may encounter a sticky family situation. Couples today are paving the way for new customs that will work for them. Discuss everything with your fiancée and come up with solutions together. The ability to communicate and compromise will serve you well in the life you are building together.

Finally, call upon the knowledge and experience of your wedding professionals. Don’t be afraid to tell them about the family dynamics and what concerns you. Believe me, they have seen and heard a lot and don’t scare easily. Ask them about their experience in handling difficult issues. They will help you and your family members avoid embarrassing or uncomfortable situations that could cast a shadow on the perfect wedding day.

Remember that you can’t change the past and you can’t change who your parents are, you can only change how you choose to respond to them. Their past is not your future. Don’t allow the anger or sadness of divorce to eclipse your happily ever after.

Article: Nancy Nolan-Kuperberg of No Regrets Events | Graphic: Hannah Lee | Photography: Jillian Mitchell Photography

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09.11.14 / Featured, Wedding Ideas, Wedding Ideas Blog, Wedding Planning

Organic Green and White Wedding Ideas

We adore this organic green and white wedding from Linnea Paulina Photography! The simplicity and combination of whites, greens, and light purples are perfect, and create a soothing and lovely color palette. Choosing a neutral and organic color palette will give you a classic design that will stand the test of time. We’d love to hear from you- what color palette are you working with for your wedding?

Photographer: Linnea Paulina Photography | Creative Direction, Styling, Florals: Kae + Ales | Hair Styling: Shannon Guerin | Makeup: Shannon Guerin | Paper Goods & Calligraphy: Graceline  | Venue: Leach Botanical Garden | Cake Design: Petunia’s Pies & Pastries | Rentals: Classic Vintage Rentals | Wedding Dress: Custom made by the brides mother | Wedding Shoes: Anthropologie | Groom’s Suit: J. Crew | Bridesmaid Dresses: J. Crew, Nordstrom & custom made 

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09.10.14 / Featured, Real Weddings, Real Weddings Blog

Monochromatic Desert Wedding Shoot

Sometimes our vendors have words to describe their shoots that we can’t gather on our own. Read more about this stunning monochromatic wedding shoot from Sarah’s Garden and Brushfire Photography:

From Sarah’s Garden:

“No place on Earth is quite like Mount Lemmon in Tucson, Arizona. A forest of thousands of Saguaro cacti inhabit the base and as you climb, the foliage transitions into Manzanita as you reach sheer rock formations and cliffs, until you reach it’s Alpine summit. The rocks ravaged by wind and erosion stretch out in all directions creating a sensation that if one reached enough momentum, they could launch into flight. The ominous clouds of the seasonal monsoon filtered the sun to cast the most ethereal light, as they rumbled with thunder around the lookout point. As dusk settled, the luminaries created glowing towers to light the way. We styled minimally and soft to juxtapose the hard rock and jutting edges. The colors kept light to blend with the otherworldly landscape.”

From Brushfire Photography:

“The inspiration for this shoot came from the cliffs that overlook the desert below.  You can see for miles and it is so open.  Whenever we sat up on these cliffs we have felt a sense of being up in the clouds high above watching the world below.  We wanted to bring these feeling into a shoot along with a desire to soar higher and explore the sky.  We choose the Lina gown by Jenny Packham because it could catch the wind and lift up in flight. We had planned on a sunny day shoot but as the time drew near, the monsoons moved in and we had the most beautiful clouds moving in all around us, creating such a beautiful backdrop, almost painted into the sky.  It really helped us set the mood for this shoot and we loved the sound of the distant thunder along with the cool crisp air that accompanied the clouds.”

Photography: Brushfire Photography | Styling & Floral: Sarah’s Garden | Location- Mt Lemmon, Tucson AZ | Dress: Jenny Packham from the Dress Theory San Diego | Menswear: J Crew | Coordination: Karen Podrasky of KDP Events | Hair and Makeup: Jessica Fierro | Calligraphy: Jenny Sanders of Graceline Art | Models: Hannah & Matt

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09.09.14 / Featured, Real Weddings, Real Weddings Blog, Wedding Ideas, Wedding Ideas Blog

Postable Mails Your Wedding Stationery For You

GettingHitchedcropIt doesn’t really hit you how much work goes into planning and executing a wedding until it’s your turn. At first, it’s fun and exciting, but soon enough, you realize how quickly all of the little tasks add up and start sucking the fun out of everything.

This is where Postable can be a lifesaver. Their FREE (yes!) address book collects all of your guests’ mailing addresses for you, and once you have them all perfectly organized, Postable will also mail your save the dates, invitations, and even thank you notes. Who wants to go to the Post Office? It’s 2014, people! Their free address book is simple to use and saves a ton of time and especially headaches! Tracking down everyone’s mailing addresses can drive even the most organized couples crazy but with Postable, they’re instantly in one place!

SaveTheDatesCropAnd once you have all of your guests’ contact information, you can choose  save the dates and invitations from amazing paper designers like Rifle Paper Co, Felix Doolittle, OneCanoe Two, and so many more! Each invitation is printed on eco-friendly, tree free paper, and remember that Postable prints and mails each card directly to the people on your list! It really couldn’t be any easier.

WritingDeskcropAnd when the wedding is over and you’re back from your honeymoon, the last thing you want to do is write and mail 100 thank you notes. Postable lets you type them all using handwriting fonts so realistic that even Martha Stewart Weddings approves. Still totally personal but with a modern twist that will save you weeks of time (and years of sanity).

Postable wants you to try and see how much of a difference using their mailing service will make in your planning process, so use the code OnceWed14 to receive 20% off of your first purchase!

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09.09.14 / Featured, New Sponsor Blog